just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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