i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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