if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
