THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
