So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
