I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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