you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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