stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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