He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
