My brain says no but my pants say off.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
