Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Randomize
