a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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