my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
