did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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