xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
