Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
