My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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