if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
