Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
