It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
