Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
