Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Randomize
