just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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