It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
