I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
