Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Welp...herpes.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
