weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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