Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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