im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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