i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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