yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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