i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We left the knife in your bed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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