Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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