You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
