who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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