I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
