Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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