I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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