I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
