Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
