Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
