This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
