look no pants
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
