I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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