i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's official drugs can't kill me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
