so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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