I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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