I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
