If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Drake has all the answers
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
