I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
